Read that title again…doesn’t it sound wonderful? We live in stressful, chaotic times, and although it may be arguable what century was the most difficult to live in (or what area, for sure!), there is no argument that we are subjected to more stimuli than human beings have ever been exposed to before. As a result, attention spans have dwindled as is our ability to filter or decipher information. It was easier, in the past, to focus on one thing at a time, and for extended time. There is more anxiety, depression and overwhelm than at any time in our recorded history. So how do we live a simple, drama-free life? Let’s look at some key factors.
First, what does it mean to live a simple life? What does it mean to be drama-free? Many people in our culture fall prey to materialism. We are told that if you’re successful, you have the big, fancy house, the big, fancy car, the toys, the look, and so on. This costs money and many spend beyond their means which equates to living in debt. If you live in a big city, most of the time your mortgage alone is enough to put you in debt for most of a lifetime. Add in the rest of the list and you never have a clean ledger. This, for many, is very stressful! Along with material desires/wants comes a degree of drama or acting a part or role. You might think you have to act tough or that you must be a certain way to attract someone you like. The more entrenched we get in that which is NOT us, or things that are outside of who we are, the more we draw drama into our lives. Let’s dig a bit deeper.
Another way of saying all this is to look at what it means to live simply. There are different versions of this, and for sure, no one right way, but suffice it to say, imagine yourself living as your true, authentic self. You are honest, straight-forward, are happy and grateful in most, if not all situations, are not materialistic, are repulsed by dramatic outbursts, don’t seek out confrontation but when faced with it, are able to remain calm, explain your position and know when to remove yourself without being drawn in. The big picture of all this, you are not burdened with debt, things or emotional turmoil. You know when to say no. You know how to hold space for others who are hurting without taking on their issues and making them your problems.
Living a simple, drama-free life does NOT mean you will never encounter complicated lives or drama-laden situations. It means that you know how to protect yourself from them. You know how to have and use your boundaries; you know how to end friendships or have difficult conversations that in the long run maintain your “safe space.” You don’t compete with your friends or family as in “keeping up with the Jones.” Know your self-worth, respect yourself and your beliefs, and only allow those people into your sphere who do the same.
Being successful at leading a simple, drama-free life means practicing all these things, daily. You are likely not going to be perfect, but if you are mostly on this path and know you are better as time passes, that’s all one can ask for. And many of you have a big hole to dig out of, so asking others for help is key; friends/family who are further along than you on this path, Psychotherapists, Acupuncturists, and some other Natural Health Practitioners who are versed in working with the mind and body.
Forming an intention to change is a good first step. Organize your thoughts around what is and isn’t working for you. What is in the way? Who will support you on your path? What do you know about making the kind of change you are looking to make, and what don’t you know? Journaling or keeping notes is a wise move. It also helps you know when it is time to let things go, be it something from your past or something you are trying to help yourself.
Next, you will need to examine habits. You, like everyone else, have good habits and bad habits. The things we do by default or “without thinking.” What habits are standing between you and your goals? Example: Let’s say you want to lose weight, but you have the habit of eating late into the evening and buying sugary treats whenever you go the grocery store. It’s obvious what habit needs to be changed here. Your helpers may have ideas for habits they see in you that may be holding up your progress. There are also good habits that need to be instilled and practicing these every day for 6 weeks will form a new habit. Some habits that are accompanied by addictive substances like sugar or some other reward system triggers are established in half the time!
In Chinese Medicine, we use our senses and ask questions to determine where there is excess that needs to be removed, and for deficiencies that need to be tonified, supported or supplemented. To be successful to make any change, this kind of methodology will serve you and lead to more successful outcomes.
Please understand that living simply and drama-free doesn’t mean that you can’t own anything or enjoy life. This isn’t minimalism, but for many of you it is many steps towards minimalism and will feel like it if you focus on what you take away or what you say you can’t have. Think about what celibacy does to those who practice it…and I’ll leave it there but suffice it to say: Taking everything away isn’t the answer. It is about being happy with far less on your plate, your calendar, in your house, in storage, commitments, social activities, friends, etc. The person who says they have hundreds of friends, I guarantee isn’t being a very good friend, at least to most of that number.
Good luck on your path to simplifying your life, and may you learn quickly and gain the self-respect and boundaries to refrain from entering into drama, and to let go of your bad habits which lead to drama, stress and overwhelm.
Paul Gerst L.Ac. is an Acupuncturist and Natural Health Practitioner who is co-owner of The Balanced Path Wellness Center in Medway, MA. Paul works with people who want to change and move beyond chronic disease or any obstacles to them reaching their full potential, either in-person or via telehealth visits. Call 774-283-2726 or visit the website at yourbalancedpath.com. Paul may be reached via email at thebalancedpath@protonmail.com.