Every one of us has a story; a collection of memories, feelings, comments from others, etc, which may be told to inform, engender feelings in the listeners, or to influence. The story or stories help us with our feelings about ourselves, too. They help balance the thoughts we have about who we are and who we think we should be. Stories are often embellished, either as part of our defense mechanisms or over time as we and others forget details regarding circumstances, motivations, etc. What makes this all so challenging is that there is little evidence that may be used against us, so changing stories is commonplace. We all like to think we have a handle on and prioritize the truth. Facts are facts, but it is so easy to manipulate them to change stories, and even more powerful, the change to our narrative.
What is our narrative and why is it so important? Narrative is to a story as tone and body language are to words strung together. It is how we tell a story and our motivations for telling it. Our narrative is what we tell ourselves and others to influence how we (and they) feel. Our stories and narrative are important in affecting our health. The thoughts and feelings around our stories and narrative have direct affect on our cells, tissue, organs, glands, etc. Tension in specific areas of the body affects how other areas are reached by oxygen, fluids, and nutrients and may also affect how waste products are removed from particular areas in the body.
There are other aspects of our behavior which influence our stories as well as our narrative. Judgment of others, gossiping, stereo-typing, prejudicial thinking, adopting narratives of others to validate our own, and in the same vein, joining groups to either validate our beliefs, as a means to disseminate our narrative. If you haven’t picked up on it, yet, there is a weak-minded, pack approach that is often used, not to be outdone by the anti-social, “everyone’s an idiot” side that some choose as an alternative. The end-all to both is that all of this is a part of our story and contributes to our narrative. There is another key that humans haven’t grasped, fully, to this point in time, and that’s the fact that allowing delusion, ignorance, etc, to prevent us from fully knowing and dealing with our stories and narratives, at least understanding the dark sides of them and how we may fall prey to cognitive distortion and cognitive dissonance as a result has led to the downfall of many societies and will do so for us.
We are in the age of alternative facts or comfortable truth. The internet has something to make everyone comfortable from insane conspiracy theories to straight up provable, repeatable, accurate science and everything in between. The way out goes beyond Psychotherapy, which as a profession is seeing all-time high numbers of Clients. It goes to us going back to basics; building stronger family, friend and community connections, learning to give service to others, teaching kids real critical thinking skills and very importantly, understanding the difference between good science and bad science. It also is very important to have honest conversation with our children, no matter how difficult it might feel. Validate their feelings, love them unconditionally, and learn, along with them, to understand those who believe and think differently than ourselves. Those who have traveled, extensively, know that this is one way to learn about other cultures and to understand differences. Another way it to participate in open-minded discussion with people who are different from yourself. Do not engage to defend or attack. The goal is not to convince or to knock others down, but to understand. The only way to do this is to listen…really listen.
Listening skills have eroded along with attention spans, so it is no wonder that the truth has been assaulted over the past 25 years. It is not a coincidence that this is approximately how old the internet is. It is also not the only time that people have had these issues, but I draw attention to it because things have become exponentially worse since the inception of the internet and worse still since the mainstream adoption of social media.
What is your story? How do you relay it to others and with what frequency? How does it affect your standing in your various groups; family, friends, work, church, etc? Do different groups know different sides of you? Is it because they haven’t heard your story or narrative or because they have received different versions? Have you purposely abridged or adulterated your story or have you allowed others to change it because it casts a better light on you?
Our stories and narratives may be used to mislead or manipulate, but they may also be used to heal. There are stories which directly lead to healing, be it through positive imagery or allowing for belief in a healthy, balanced outcome. What does your story and your narrative lead to?
Paul Gerst L.Ac. is a licensed Acupuncturist and Natural Health Practitioner of 25 years. He is co-owner of The Balanced Path Wellness Center in Medway, MA, and helps many people with chronic health issues get well through the use of acupuncture, cupping, low-level light therapy, AK, mind-body techniques, changing narratives, and more. www.yourbalancedpath.com thebalancedpath@protonmail.com